I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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