What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
