Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
