she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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