:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
