Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
