Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
