i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
