you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
