Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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