I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
