The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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