plz talk dirty to me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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