I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
