If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
