so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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