He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am one with the molecules
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
