Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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