Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
