ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
