I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
