so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think i got beer on your cat.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
