they need to just BURY HIM!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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