Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
