dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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