what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
