"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
