Non-Jews are for practice
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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