I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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