He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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