But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
