I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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