it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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