my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize