its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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