His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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