I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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