I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
