i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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