she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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