I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
