im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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