I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
