I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
