It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
