She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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