So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
