and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
