Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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