Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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