Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
