I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
