u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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