I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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