i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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