This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
