Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
