Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
