girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
