did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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