I wish they made helmets for livers.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
