i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
