good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
