i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
