wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize