Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
