she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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