No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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