i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
