It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
