Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
