You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
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HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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