My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
