What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize