I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let's get the cat blown out
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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